South East Asia: 2 days before

In my previous blog post I wrote that it would probably be the last time you would hear from me before I went away on my trip. Surprise!!

I wasn’t planning on posting again but I felt it was appropriate to update you all on my current feelings regarding my trip... in 2 days time. Although I write for everyone’s (hopefully) enjoyment, I’m writing, right now, specifically to first time travellers. Everything you read is from my first hand experience as a first time traveller so that those in my position in the future can find comfort reading this, knowing that it’s normal to feel all the things they’re feeling, and this post is about what all those emotions may be.


Nervous.

The most obvious. To my surprise I hadn’t felt nervous until about 5 days ago. I sorted all my booking documents out, bus tickets, detailed itinerary, etc, etc, and I realised how organised I’m going to have to be to pull this whole thing off successfully. Those who know me know that I’m incredibly clumsy and ditsy, characteristics that don’t particularly go well with surviving a 3 month trip cross 3 countries. A couple of years ago I went on a trip with my spanish class during the summer holidays to Mallorca but I booked separately as I wasn’t sure until a couple of weeks after they had booked that I was going. Being the idiot that I am, I booked myself a plane home at 9pm instead of 9am like everyone else so I ended up having to stay in Mallorca by myself for an extra 12 hours by myself. This is a single example of the long list of stupid things I get myself into. I just know I’m going to get on the wrong train and find myself in Canada or something insane like that. That’s why I’m nervous.


Scared.

Second most obvious. What I’m doing is dangerous!! Especially by myself. Alone and vulnerable on a different continent. There are people in this world who will take advantage of 19 year old girls, especially ones looking a bit lost. Scary animals with big teeth and creepy crawlies (giant spiders- NO THANK YOU). Disease! Yes, I’ve been vaccinated against the majority of diseases out there in South East Asia but there’s a good few that it’s ‘unlikely’ I’ll catch so I haven’t been vaccinated against.... THERES STILL A CHANCE I’LL CATCH THEM!! Long story short, I’m scared I’m gonna die.


Upset.

I’ve never been away from my family for longer than 10 days and suddenly I’m going to be away from them for three months. My heart aches knowing I’m not going to be able to hug my boyfriend, my best friend, my dog, and everyone I love for so long. I’ve said goodbye so many times in the last week and cried so many tears. Everything I do I think about how it’ll probably be the last time I do it until I get back, like going out for a normal meal, or going to the shopping centre, driving my car, etc. I’m going to miss everything about my comfortable life and the wonderful people in it.


Excited.

The other most obvious. I’m going to have such an incredible time out there. I’m excited to learn about culture, eat new foods, meet interesting people, see amazing things, and find myself. Although it’s all quite daunting I know that this is going to be the greatest thing I’ve ever done. By putting myself out there I’m going to have the time of my life despite all the things I’m nervous and scared and upset about.


I’ve had the most emotional week summarised by all of the above. Those of you overwhelmed by it all, don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’m feeling it all right now.

I’ll write again soon.

Lizzy

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